


darling you look perfect tonight

by val_newtmas



Series: Newtmas Oneshots [5]
Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Boys In Love, Crying, Hugs, Insecure Thomas, Kisses, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Language, Newt loves Thomas, Sad, takes place after the dont lie to me scene, thomas loves newt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28981758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/val_newtmas/pseuds/val_newtmas
Summary: After the blonde had shown him his infected arm, Thomas had simply stared. Stared and stared until finally the reality of the situation settled in and he broke down. Broke down because this was his best friend. Broke down because this was Newt. Broke down because the only person keeping him tethered to this horrid humanity was going to die, and he couldn't do anything about it.
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Series: Newtmas Oneshots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2077542
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64
Collections: Pieces of Newtmas





	darling you look perfect tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Its been a while but hey, im back :) 
> 
> listening to the song "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran made me think of Newtmas and here we are-

“Why? _Why_ does it have to be you?” Thomas sobbed into Newt’s shoulder. 

After the blonde had shown him his infected arm, Thomas had simply stared. Stared and stared until finally the reality of the situation settled in and he broke down. Broke down because this was his best friend. Broke down because this was Newt. Broke down because the only person keeping him tethered to this horrid humanity was going to die, and he couldn't do anything about it.

“Love, calm down,” was what Newt finally said after a while. He rubbed small circles on the younger boys back, trying to find the right words to say. There were none really.

“I- I can’t calm down Newt! You- you're doing to die. Newt oh my god you're going to die and i-” he cut himself off and pushed himself farther into Newts side. Newt wouldn't be surprised if Thomas managed to merge them together considering their close proximity. 

“I’m not going to die right here and now you twat. Don’t off me before I even get a chance,” Newt joked as he placed his head above Thomas’s. Their feet were dangling off the ledge of a building just outside of the last city. Thomas didn't have the energy in him to respond. He wanted all of this to be a sick dream and he wanted to wake up, _now._

They sat in silence trying their best to not think about what the future had in store. They didn't want to think anymore. They wanted peace.

Thomas lightly ran his foot up Newt's calf and down again in slow, thoughtful movements before speaking up, “So this is it huh?”

“What?”

“I have to say goodbye to you now? This is the end? No more me and you..together...” Thomas trailed off.

Newt immediately lifted his head from where it was resting on the other boys and turned to stare at Thomas.

“Thomas..stop,” he warned. The implication of “me and you” sent shocks through Newt's spine. He had to remind himself that there was none of that going on. Thomas still loved Teresa. It was part of the reason he had his moment inside the building moments earlier. Regardless, it hurt that Thomas would even say such a thing. Not because he didn't want it, but because he knew Thomas didn't feel the same way. It probably wasn't Thomas’s intention to make it seem like he was more than a friend to Newt, but it still sent a pang of sadness through his body knowing his feelings were not reciprocated in the way he wanted them to be.

“Stop what? You expect me to lie? To say everything is going to be okay? C’mon Newt let's face it, your ending has already been determined. If this was some ordinary shank I would not be practically sobbing my eyes out for them. I've lost too many to cry over every single person that leaves me. I will continue to lose friends and I can't stop that.” 

Thomas paused, shyly reaching over and intertwining his fingers with Newt’s. He smiled when the other showed no signs of disgust or anger. Newt simply let Thomas hold his hand, patiently waiting for the brunette to continue. Thomas told himself this confession was a bad idea considering the circumstances they were in. Yet, no matter how many times he tried to convince himself not to do it, he knew that in the long run he wouldn't be able to live with the fact that he had never told Newt. He needed to. He owed it to him.

“But- you’re different. So very different Newt I- _fuck_ -” he took a deep breath and continued to play with Newt’s fingers, lightly tracing soft patterns on them. Now or never.

“How am i different?” Newt quipped. He desperately hoped he wasn't reading the signs wrong and that maybe, just maybe, Thomas liked him back.

Thomas scoffed, rolling his eyes fondly as if Newt had just said the stupidest thing in the world. Because really? How was Newt so different? Thomas didn't have enough time before they departed to the Last City to tell Newt how he was so different. Even if he did have all the time in the world it still wouldnt be enough to describe the amount of devotion and love he had for the man he was currently holding hands with. No speech about Newt could ever do him justice, but he settled for this.

“Hmm..well lets see,” he playfully nudged Newt’s shoulder before continuing, “First of all, you are you. Yeah that sounds sappy as fuck but its true Newt. Since the day I came up in the box you have been my anchor. It's like everything zones out when you are around. Like nothing matters. It's just _Newt Newt Newt_ and it was scary at first...but then, then it wasn't so scary anymore. Every fight you have protected me from, every sarcastic insult you throw at me, hell Newt even when you let me comfort you; that all makes me fall even more completely and utterly in love with you. And I know that sounds crazy because everyone here believes that I still care about Teresa,” he flinched slightly at the mention of his former friend, “but the truth is Newt, I will always love you. It’s always been you. No one else can even compare to you. I am such a dumbass for not realizing sooner, but..I- I’m here now. Telling you now because you deserve the best. So much more than me Newt- but I needed you to know. Please don't hate me for this. I just-” Thomas was cut off with a gentle hand cupping his jaw, slightly tilting his head.

“Tommy do me a favor and breathe,” Newt let out softly. He pulled Thomas close to him again and pressed kisses into the, once again, sobbing boy’s hair.

“Newt- Newt I- I shouldn't have dragged you into t-this...s’all my fault,” he whispered brokenly. “And now I told you how I feel and- I feel like a total fuck up..please dont leave me Newt, please. I swear we can forget about what I just said and we can focus on your health like we should be doing. Look at me crying when I'm supposed to be a leader. I- shit I'm so sorr-” he was roughly cut off by a pair of hands cupping his cheeks and thumbs caressing his cheekbones.

“Listen to me clearly, alright? Thomas, I have been completely and totally in love with you from the moment I saw your optimism. The light you brought into the room was just- it’s something anyone with half a brain cell can fall in love with. Tommy, I don't know how much time I have left or if I'm even going to be alive in two days time.” 

A tear slid down Thomas’s cheek which was lightly kissed off by Newt before he continued.

“But what i do know is that we deserve so much better, love. Fuck WICKED. Fuck Ave Paige. Fuck Janson. Fuck _anyone_ who has ever prevented us from finally being safe. And if i get to spend the last of my days knowing that the man i would die for, loves me back? Then I will gladly accept death. Screw this world for giving me someone as special as you in such twisted circumstances. Tommy you did not drag me into anything. This?” He lifted his sleeve to show Thomas the infection. Thomas whimpered lowly. “This is not your fault. Okay? So don't blame this on yourself. I would follow you anywhere you know that. I love you Thomas. _My_ Tommy. I hate myself for having to leave you.” 

Newt was also crying by now, tears silently running down his cheeks. 

“You wont leave me Newt, you won't. I'm going to find a cure for you. I promise. I cant live without you.”

“Thomas don't promise me something like that. It will only make you feel more guilty,” Newt muttered as he brought Thomas’s face closer to his, resting his own forehead against his.

“I-”

“Shhh, that's enough. Relax. Please, for me?” 

Who was Thomas to deny him anything? He didn't say anything for a while. Didn't know what to say. After a while he spoke up.

“Sorry I'm such a mess Newt. I don't look the best right now and I'm not in the best mindset but it's just been a tough day,” he finished off and smiled sadly.

“Hey Tommy, you look perfect tonight. If we weren't in a puddle of tears I would say you look hot.”

Thomas smiled sadly and did the only thing he had wanted to do since he poured his heart out to the older boy. He kissed him. Nothing he has ever experienced before could compare to the sensation of Newt’s lips against his. It was full of sadness, desperation, but most of all, love. Thomas could do this for years, nothing mattered in that moment except the slide of Newt’s lips on his. It was perfect in a way. The way Newt rested his hands on Thomas’s thighs and slowly slid them up and back down again, the little huffs of air that Thomas would let out in between kisses because, _what the hell he's kissing Newt and what is life_ , even the small noises that both boys made were perfect. It was surreal and Thomas deeply resented the need for air. 

As they pulled apart with heavy breathing, the pair couldn't help but smile at each other.

“Bloody hell Tommy, didn't know you were capable of that,” Newt teased with nothing but adoration in his voice.

“Oh shut up,” Thomas replied as he wiped his eyes, getting rid of any tears still remaining.

“Can you promise me something?” 

“Anything,” the brunette replied immediately, he was so gone for Newt it was scary at times.

“No matter what happens...you keep living. You find a way to make it to the safehaven and you _live_. We have risked too much for you to give yourself up just because I’m not there. Do you understand?” he said as he reached out and stopped Thomas from picking his fingernails. God he knew everything about this boy. Thomas looked up gratefully at that before remembering what Newt had said prior and became serious once more.

“You are going to make it Newt. I swear I will do everything in my power to make sure you're safe.” He knew Newt was about to ask him why he was avoiding the promise so he quickly continued, “But if that's what you want, then yes. I will live but you will be living with me too. You have to be.”

Newt scoffed lightly and shook his head before replying, “Always were a stubborn one arent you?”Once again, Thomas did not respond. He simply shifted and hugged Newt. Arms around his neck yet still in a quite awkward position considering they were sitting down. Newt didn't mind though and neither did Thomas. Neither boy knew what was going to happen today, or tomorrow, or in a week. But what they did know was that they had each other. Their fate was to be determined but nothing could be clearer than their endearment for each other.

**Author's Note:**

> dont hate me fkbvuebe :)


End file.
